…And other fun facts
So, you want to be the police, huh? Let me give you some insight into what you will face if you decide to get behind the badge. I just worked a seven day work week. It’s not the first and won’t be the last. This one was by choice. I volunteered to work a warrant round-up on my days off for time and a half. After all, they pay me like a policeman. After working this seven day work week, and listening to mostly talk radio during the day, I have come to a startling conclusion. According to the Barack Obama administration, working for seven straight twelve hour days is a form of torture.
The English philosopher Herbert Spencer said, “The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.” With every passing day that I work, I am more convinced that the human race has defeated natural selection. The majority of my time at work is spent shielding men from the effects of folly. As the years have passed, I have watched as juvenile delinquents have grown to convicted felons, and begin to raise their very own future convicted felons. In years past these people would have been hanged in the town square for rustling cattle or something. The gene pool needs an enema. Maybe swine flu will help me out with that.
Once you reach a certain level of crazy, we should be able to put you down like a rabid dog. Once you exhibit symptoms of being a dangerous crazy person, the responding officers should be able to just end it, right there, for the sake of the community. I’m sure you’re wondering who would make the determination of what is “too crazy”? Well, that’s easy. Me, of course. I would be good at that job.
I spent some time working with some guys from the United States Marshall’s Service. I let one of them borrow my pen, and I never got it back. Let this be a lesson to you. Every time you let the Federal government borrow one of your freedoms for the sake of safety, it will end up wherever my pen is.
Humor and Satire at You Should Be Tasered 