Q: Who are you?

A: Your friendly, neighborhood oppression technician of course!

Q: What is an oppression technician?

A: That’s my job title. Some people might call me a police officer, pig, cop, da people, da man, etc. I find these terms to be offensive in nature, and I prefer the term “oppression technician”.

Q: Oh, so where do you work?

A: There are some things that are better left unsaid.

Q: So you won’t tell me?

A: No.

Q: Crap!

A: That’s not a question.

Q: Why do police officers, er excuse me, oppression technicians do what they do?

A: Well, this is the best explanation I’ve seen so far.

Q: Is there anything I should know before I post a comment?

A: I do have a comment policy and obligatory disclaimer you might be interested in.

Q: You said something offensive; what should I do about it?

A: You should probably start crying.

Q: Okay, I’m done crying, but I’m still offended. What should I do now?

A: Die.

Q: Are you really that much of a prick?

A: Yes.

Q: Okay, okay, but say I want to send you an e-mail, how would I do that?

A: youshouldbetasered[at]gmail[dot]comis the addy, but be warned: Any e-mail you send me may end up posted on this site as the subject of scorn and ridicule. I’ll only do that if you send me an e-mail that pisses me off. Examples of such e-mails would be e-mails that whine, complain, or chastise me. On the other hand, I am a bit moody and any e-mail might piss me off on a given day. Just understand this when you send an e-mail.

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