Archive for Voter Fraud

Barrack Obama: Of the People, By the People, For the People, Chapter 4

Posted in Barrack Obama Biography, Humor, Politics with tags , , , , , , , , , on November 5, 2008 by JumpOut

As teh Messiah spake, the crowds gathered. They gathered in great multitudes in the cities and towns to hear teh One speak of redemption. They chanted and prayed. They cheered and hugged. They performed fellatio on each other to congratulate themselves on the monumental accomplishment of ending white guilt.

At the appointed time, at the appointed place, Barrack stood before the cheering multitudes. He said, “Can we make Amerikkka a better nation?” The crowd chanted, “YES WE CAN!” Obama said, “Can we hope for change?” The crowd chanted, “YES WE CAN!” The Most Merciful One On High said, “Can we defeat the forces of evil, and unite the world?” The crowd chanted “YES WE CAN!” Teh Messiah said, “Do you want salvation from the sins of your ancestors?” The crowd chanted, “YES WE CAN!” Barrack said, “I’ll tell you how!” The crowd chanted, “YES WE CAN!”

As the crowd continued to chant, “YES WE CAN!” the evil honkey McCraker was brought out before the crowd. McCracker had been trying to seize power over Amerikka and was the only obstacle left to prevent teh Messiah’s ascendancy.

Teh Messiah said, “Can we get rid of this white devil?” The crowd chanted, “YES WE CAN!” And with that, McCracker was tossed into the writhing, frenzied, crowd. McCracker then joined in, “YES WE CAN!”

Barrack then said, “Can you make me your leader?” The crowd chanted, “YES WE CAN!” Barrack said, “Then I absolve you of the sins of your ancestors. Go forth and sin no more.” The crowd chanted, “YES WE CAN!”

As the crowd continued to chant, “YES WE CAN!” Lord Obama gave a speech in celebration and acceptance of this monumental occasion. He said, “Amerikkka better have my money come rain sleet or snow. That bitch better have my money. Not some, not half, but all my cash. Because if she don’t, I’m gonna put my foot dead in her ass.”

The crowd chanted: “YES WE CAN

YES WE CAN

YES WE CAN

YES WE CAN!!!!1!1one!”

This has been part four of the Biography of Barrack Obama brought to you by ACORN, mind numbed sycophants, and Flyguy You can read the other chapters here.

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Barrack Obama: Of the People, By the People, For the People, Chapter 3

Posted in Barrack Obama Biography, Humor, Politics with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on October 27, 2008 by JumpOut

Barrack continued to travel the hostile nation of Amerikkka. Though the land was populated by white devils, he pressed on. He performed his works of social justice despite the rebukes of the crackers. Barrack organized many communities, mostly by color, and income. He raised the dead, and then gave them the preternatural ability to vote.

Barrack came upon a group of people who were trying to organize communities. They said to Barrack: “Teacher, our people are disenfranchised. We are doing all we can to make up for our lack of numbers so things will be equitable, but we are but mortals, and can only do so much.”

The One said: “Do your works in my name, and your group will grow into a mighty oak within this community. I bestow upon you my powers to raise the dead and cause them to vote. I grant you immunity from media scrutiny, and $80,000 to stage demonstrations, give sound to those that are not heard, and light the darkened path of social justice.”

While performing his many miracles, he gathered disciples unto him. One such disciple was Joe the Doubter. Joe was known to make many speeches against Barrack. He doubted the Anointed One’s powers. When Barrack happened upon Joe the Doubter he said: “My son, if you will follow me, I will cleanse your soul of the guilt of your skin color. And I’ll give you a pay raise, and some menial tasks.” Doubting Joe said okay, and became a faithful follower.

Obama gathered many more disciples in his travels. He sent shivers up the legs of onlookers. He caused members of his congregation to faint from sheer joy. He provided hope to the hopeless. He gave the hope that change would come. He caused the people to believe that hoping for change would change their hopelessness.

This has been part three of the Biography of Barrack Obama, brought to you by ACORN, Citizen Services, Inc, and Chris Matthews.

Part I
Part II