Archive for Senate Minority report

Global Warming Believers Are Stupid

Posted in Humor, News, Politics, Stupid Hippies with tags , , , , , , , on December 16, 2008 by JumpOut

Apparently snow in South Louisiana is an indicator of how hot everything else is getting. Who knew?

Scientists fear that what’s happening with Arctic ice melt will be amplified so that ominous sea level rise will occur sooner than they expected. They predict Arctic waters could be ice-free in summers, perhaps by 2013, decades earlier than they thought only a few years ago.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but weren’t we already supposed to be ankle deep in ocean water in Nevada by now or something? I know we’re supposed to be out of oil by now too.

Complicating everything is the worldwide financial meltdown. Frank Maisano, a Washington energy specialist and spokesman who represents coal-fired utilities and refineries, sees the poor economy as “a huge factor” that could stop everything. That’s because global warming efforts are aimed at restricting coal power, which is cheap. That would likely mean higher utility bills and more damage to ailing economies that depend on coal production, he said.

Of course, let’s screw everybody for the sake of our stupid religion. This is more important than people. People are why this happened, so they deserve to suffer.

Mother Nature, of course, is oblivious to the federal government’s machinations. Ironically, 2008 is on pace to be a slightly cooler year in a steadily rising temperature trend line. Experts say it’s thanks to a La Nina weather variation. While skeptics are already using it as evidence of some kind of cooling trend, it actually illustrates how fast the world is warming.

There’s the punchline, I can’t do better than that. Remember, there is no debate! Every scientist in the world agrees that man-made global warming is the shit! In the words of Mystikal, “If I tell ya it’s the shit, then that’s just what it is!”