Law Enforcement Facts: You Really Shouldn’t Have

As I get ready for another day of listening to complaints from grown ups that behave like children, people complaining about children that act like grown ups, I leave you with a post. What follows is a quick list of things you shouldn’t do if you are dealing with law enforcement.

  • Do not follow behind a police car, flashing your high beams, and breaking traffic laws to get the police officer to stop so you can ask directions.
  • Do not call the police and lie about having a disturbance with your boyfriend just so you can get a ride.
  • Do not call the police for help then proceed to act like an asshole when the police show up to help. I will quickly tell you to go fuck yourself
  • Do not call the police for them to come to your house without secure your family pet. Dogs don’t like the uniform, and I will quickly end your dog’s life.
  • Last, but certainly not least, do not make a threatening jab-step at the police officer that’s pointing a taser at you.

I know must of my kickass readers understand these things. Most of you think they are common sense. Let me assure you that common sense ain’t common, and I wouldn’t mention these if people had never done them. I hope this list will help make your next contact with law enforcement a pleasant one.

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6 Responses to “Law Enforcement Facts: You Really Shouldn’t Have”

  1. Normal people geta all of tht, of course, but for those who don’t, you should have these rules of etiquette posted all over the ghetto (assuming those nitwits can read at all).

    Be safe out there.

  2. What if McDonalds is out of an item? Can I call then?

  3. Good Lord, if I had a nickel every time someone pulled a #3 on me . . .

  4. Actually, our dogs would probably start licking you.

  5. […] the whole thing — and don’t miss the comments. Who needs Ann Landers? Category: Crime […]

  6. How about calling “officer down” when the cops on the original call don’t give you the answer you want on a civil dispute? You’re gonna get a new buncha cops at your doorstep in real short order. And you’re gonna hate the answers they’re carrying.

    The car on the call was still out front when this went out over the air, they cancelled the action in a big hurry within 20 seconds. They couldn’t believe it was their unit and their location that the dispatcher was broadcasting. Still, between the city, county and state units still calling in (can’t hear to good with the window down and the siren going) we figured over 50 units were rolling.

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