My First Racist Barack Obama Comment

I’m really surprised it took this long. I expected it much sooner. I guess my line of work makes you lose faith in humanity. Fortunately, it always strengthens your faith in stupidity.

So there we are on a complaint in one of the poorest, shittiest parts of our jurisdiction. We just dealt with a woman screeching about being hit in the eye, and her friend being kidnapped. The woman’s mother pushing the limits of how aggravating one can be before being tasered and taken to jail. And we tracked down the alleged perpetrator and his “kidnapped” girlfriend. After interviewing all involved, and determining that the complaint was utter bullshit (I was so shocked that someone would lie to me) the alleged suspect who has since been cleared of all wrong doing tells us, “Da President black, we don’t need y’all back here no moe!”

You know, I am so relieved. I hated going back there anyway. I will miss all the roach infested, barely standing trailers, and shotgun houses, though. And the looks from the independent entrepreneurs plying their wares on the street corners. I’ll also miss the dumbfounded looks of the yard dogs that probably haven’t seen a Caucasian in their lives. I swear, it’s like they’re looking at a leprechaun. They don’t bark, growl, nothing. They just stare at you like you’re some alien life form.

One thing I have yet to figure out is whether this up and coming community organizer was speaking for the entire African American community, or just the ones that live in that area. Regardless, I’m here to help, even though apparently some of you no longer need the assistance of law enforcement professionals.

The next time your babydaddy kicks your ass, call Barack Obama. The next time your 28 inch rims get stolen, call Barack Obama. The next time your baby boy ODs on heroin, call Barack Obama. The next time a sixteen year old gangbanger is laying dead in the street, call Barack Obama. The next time an infant catches a stray bullet from the gunfire of rival drug dealers, call Barack Obama. He’ll make it all better.

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4 Responses to “My First Racist Barack Obama Comment”

  1. coldsoldier Says:

    “We aint rich like yall, but one day..this yur.. WE-WILL-BAY.. because we have BURRAH OOOBAMA!!!!” Coulda been worse man, he coulda been a female with that index finger making a circular motion in the air while sucking on her teeth and moving her head around like it was orbiting an unseen planet. And you know everytime we roll up on those gentlemen peddling their wares on the street corner all it takes is “Excuse me fine citizens, but you would not happen to be engaged in the sale of illegal narcotics would you?” and they’re always forthcoming with either the contraband or valuable information that would lead us to the apprehension of others.

  2. Well, if they don’t want or need you there anymore, that should make your job sooooooo much easier. /sarc

  3. That fits so nicely with one of the patients telling me that Obama was going to take care of her teeth the other day. He’s gonna be one busy lil’ SOB. 😉

  4. Well, I guess I won’t have to come around here no more for the same profound reason.

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