How Not to Get Killed by the Police: The Oldest Rule in the Book
Being the web’s number one resource on information that can save your life when confronted by crazed feral police officers, I feel I may have done a disservice to my readers. It seems I made a mistake by assuming that everyone knew the most elementary rule in not getting killed by the police. I have recently found evidence that this is not the case.
The oldest rule in the book of how not to get killed by the police, the one I mistakenly thought went without saying, is a very popular, and well known cliche’. Maybe I’m being too hard on myself. Maybe it is all of you who have failed me! Maybe you have all been poor students, and by not being mildly curious about what you could learn away from here, you have failed a fellow student. He has now lost his life because he made a simple, obvious mistake.
Well, I guess I have to teach you this one too. The number one rule in how not to get killed by the police is “Don’t Bring a Knife to Gunfight!” Jesus H. Christ what are you people doing out there? It’s like I’m raising children around here! I can’t believe this:
Spokesman Jeff Kappel says it started with a 911 call at 1:16 a.m. Wednesday from an Aurora Avenue motel.
Responding officers heard the woman screaming that the man had a knife. When they forced open the door, Kappel says, the man sprayed officers with a chemical irritant. Officers used a stun gun on the man twice but he fought it off and refused orders to drop the knife.
Kappel says when the man advanced he was shot by four or five officers and died at the scene.
As far as inciting shooting frenzies goes, the only thing more likely to illicit one than a drunk in a Nazi uniform pointing a WWII replica rifle loaded with blanks is a knife wielding wackaloon.
Come on, people, it’s your lives on the line. Do I have to do all the work around here?