How Not to Get Killed by the Police: Wilderness Safety

Outdoor activities can be fun for mom, dad, junior, sissy, or even deranged Uncle Bob and his puppy. Don’t let carelessness turn a fun family outing into a blood-splattered scene of mayhem and death.

Thanks to the How Not to Get Killed by the Police series, we are all aware of how dangerous police officers in the wild can be. If you’re out in a wooded area walking your dog, brandishing a firearm, or just living there, you should be aware that it is possible that you could inadvertently cross paths with roaming groups of wild police officers.

If you should find yourself in a similar situation:

[Via Miami Herald]

The man lived in a heavily wooded area behind the community center at Naranja Park, 14150 SW 264th St. He slept under a blue tarp, next to his pots and pans.

Three detectives from the South District — until recently called the Cutler Ridge station — drove to the park Thursday afternoon.

They were investigating a report of a man who had pointed a rifle at a school bus several days ago, then ran into the same wooded area.

While they were scouring the woods, the dog burst out of the brush toward police. The man popped out, too.

You should remember that the wild police officers are very unpredictable when in a normal state. Like any wild animal, the danger is doubled when you startle them.

If you mistakenly cross the path of police officers in the wild, you should immediately fall to the ground, cover your face and head, and curl into ball. You have to show the police officers you are not a threat. If you fail to follow this advice, the outcome could be tragic:

”The suspect armed himself. He raised his weapon and police fired,” said Miami-Dade Detective Roy Rutland, a spokesman.

The man and the dog were mortally wounded. No officers were injured.

”The officers were in fear for their lives and their safety when the subject pointed a rifle at them,” said Brendan Coyle, an attorney with the Police Benevolent Association.

Don’t let this happen to you. Remember to get your dose of Law Enforcement Humor and Political Satire everyday from You Should Be Tasered so you can learn How Not to Get Killed by the Police.


2 Responses to “How Not to Get Killed by the Police: Wilderness Safety”

  1. What is it with criminals and “wooded areas”? It’s so cliche.

  2. I love this F’n blog.

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