I guess the burning question on the mind of the blogosphere is: “Where did JumpOut go?” Well, gather around dudes, and dudettes, and I will tell you the tale of why I haven’t been around. It’s a mysterious tale with twists and turns, and drama around every corner. A tale of love, and redemption, of pain, and triumph. It may just be the blockbuster hit of the holiday season.

It all starts with me in Africa. I was running from my past. I found solace in a school for boys run by a friend of mine. My past caught up with me in the form of a Federal subpoena. I decided to leave the school because I did not want the rat-bastards in the government to use the school against me. Just as I was leaving, some gunmen showed up to abduct the children and force them to fight in General Juma’s Civilian National Security Force. I whooped their asses, and saved all the children. I’m good like that.

Upon returning to the States, I found work in a hospital diagnosing strange illnesses. I took a case involving an orphan who said her parents were dead. I knew better, because everybody lies. Through my rapier-like sarcasm, and cynicism that runs so deep it manifests itself physically sometimes, I figure out the girl has leukemia, and killed her younger brother. I convince her to get treated, and find her salvation. All in a day’s work.

So you see, I was doing some really important stuff. Sorry, I didn’t have time to write. I did save some children in the process, so I’m sure you can all forgive me, right? Am I redeemed?

8 Responses to “Answers”

  1. Uh huh, right. Sure thing.

  2. Dr House, Sam Spade and Rambo all rolled-up in one! No wonder you’re my hero! Will you autograph my chest?

  3. Did you type all that with a straight face? Have you been visited by aliens lately, or hearing strange voices in your head? :))

  4. That is quite the misadventure, It seems like, television.

  5. Well, that certainly explains it. I figured you were on a World of Warcraft bender, or some other nerdy endeavor.

  6. No, no, no! I make love not warcraft!

  7. Lies! All lies! You made a mistake and were punished with a baby. Come clean and you will be forgiven and redeemed.

  8. […] sure you have all been wondering why the posting has been so slow lately. Last week, I gave you excuses. This week, I’ll give you […]

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