Barrack Obama: Of the People, By the People, For the People, Chapter 2
After ending slavery, Obama traveled from town to town getting into adventures while trying to find himself, and his purpose in this cruel world. While traveling through the deserts of Amerikkka, he happened upon a family whose skin was not quite as dark as his, but certainly darker than the white oppressors who had treated him so cruelly during his youth.
The patriarch of this family bore a forlorn countenance as he trudged through the scorching sands. When the family saw the young, good-looking, clean, articulate Obama, they hid their faces from the hope that beamed from his visage.
Obama said, “You have nothing to fear from me. Tell me, why is it that you look so piteous.”
The young father said, “Master, we have traveled great distances looking for hope and change. Parts of our country were stolen from us by the conquistadors. The white devils cursed what they left to us so that it became a desolate, and barren land. The white devils used their sorcery to make the land they took prosperous, and fertile. They put a curse on my people, making us illegal. We only want to do the jobs whitey won’t do, and maybe rape a woman here or there, or murder a cop every once in a while. Is that too much to ask?”
Obama said, “Come, my children, kneel before me. I will grant you the hope and change you seek.”
The young family knelt before the mighty Obama. He lay his hands upon them, and looked to the sky. Obama prayed, “In the name of Che Guevara, release these innocents from the curse placed upon them by the evil crackers.” With a crash of thunder, and a bolt of lightening the family was illegal no more.
“Go children” said Obama, “Go pick the oranges, and clean up the construction sites. Go install the substandard roofs. Your affliction is healed.”
With that, the young family continued on their way to seek prosperity. Obama too, continued his journey, healing those in need. The tales of his miracles spread far and wide.
When Obama entered the city of the angels, he was greeted by some honkies. They said, “Great one, come with us. We have a woman in need of your salvation.” He followed the honkies to their studio apartment where they showed him a woman who was so sick, she couldn’t even stand up.
Obama said, “Honkies, why have you summoned me here, and who is this woman?”
The honkies replied, “This woman is a great prostitute, known far and wide for her ability to sell her image to the masses. She suffers from the great plague which torments many of our kind: White guilt.”
Obama said to the prostitute,”Listen to me, rise, and follow me. Any of you who follow me shall suffer no more from this great plague. In service to me your burden will be lifted.”
The woman rose from her bed and said, “Finally, I can do the evening news again.”
Obama said, “Come on, you perky bitch, it’s time for me to put your ass on the street.”
This has been part two of the Biography of Barrack Obama, brought to you by CBS, NBC, ABC, and CNN.