Don’t Fart On The Police!

I know most people would see the above as stating the obvious. Well, there was a dude in West Virginia that decided to test the above warning. Check this out:

Via Fox News

West Virginia Man Charged With Assaulting an Officer

[…]

During fingerprinting, Cruz then allegedly moved closer to one of the officers and passed gas, the station reported. In the complaint, the investigating officer wrote that police noticed a “very strong” odor.

The alleged stunt led Cruz to be charged with another offense — battery on an officer — in addition to DUI and obstruction, WSAZ reported.

This story got me to thinking: Can I do that? (Charge someone for farting on the po-po I mean) I looked up the the local statute for battery, and it says that a battery can be the intentional administration of a noxious substance. I guess it all depends on how the law defines “noxious”. I think I’ll have to put this one to the test in our court system.

I can see it now:

DA: Officer, inform the court of what happened on the night that you arrested the defendant.

JumpOut: Well, I responded to a domestic disurbance. Upon my arrival, I noticed the victim done had her ass whooped. I could tell by that big ass not on her head. She said her husband, Billy-Joe Jim-Bob Smith did it. I arrested Mr. Smith, and charged him with unlawfully whoopin his ole lady’s ass.

DA: Well, I see that you also charged him with battery on a police officer. How did that come about?

JumpOut: After I arrested Mr. Smith, I took him to the local jail for processing. While I was doing his paperwork, he walked over and farted on me. Well, I had to defend myself against this battery. I didn’t know if maybe he had been eating taco bell, so I tased him…Twice.

Heh. That would be cool.

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5 Responses to “Don’t Fart On The Police!”

  1. Good to see you again. I hope this is a sign that things are going well for you bro.

  2. Is your e-mail addy the same? I’ll drop you a line and explain what happened.

    EDIT:

    I sent an e-mail to your old addy.

  3. it forwards automatically to radioactiveliberty at gmail dot com. That’s the one I am using now.

  4. […] Crap! (An Update) Dang it! Apparently the asshole that passed gas at the police got his battery charge dropped. Via […]

  5. […] See my previous post on farting on the police. Let’s get started, shall […]

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