Dick Vitale is Bad Enough

I don’t know if this happens where you live, but every year about this time every car dealerships make commercials to take advantage of of the NCAA men’s basketball tournament. Insead of telling us that they’ll be open for triple overtime or some other equally nonsensical comparison, they hire people to do awful Dick Vitale immitations.

Dickie V is annoying all by himself, but that’s his schtick. These immitators don’t even do a good job of sounding like him. You wouldn’t even know they were immitating Dickie V if not for the “dipsey doo dunkaroo” or the obligatory “bay-bee”. It’s horrible.

If I ever get lyme disease, wig out, and go on shooting spree, you’ll have nothing to fear from me. Unless of course you do bad Dick Vitale impressions on radio commercials.

Roll Tide, Roll, Around the Bowl and Down the Hole

If there were ever an illustration of why there should be a College Football Playoff System, it was last night. The mighty Crimson Tide of Alabama, a team that was ranked number one in the country until being beaten by Florida in the SEC championship game, was not just beaten, but taken to the woodshed like crimson-haired step-children by upstart Utah. Utah finishes the season unbeaten.

Let make sure you understand, I in no way think Utah could win the National Championship if they got a shot at it. I think last night was a fluke, and was a product of overconfidence, and a team not taking their opponent seriously. With that said, Utah deserves a shot at the title. It’s an injustice that the current system won’t even let Utah sniff the crystal ball. It’s a travesty, and it disgusts me as a college football fan.

It almost disgusts me as much as Alabama’s performance last night. For that embarrassment, they should be kicked out of the SEC. We should trade them to the PAC 10 for USC, or to the Sun Mountain Eastern Unicorn conference (or whatever the hell it is) for Utah.

To Lou Holtz

Fuck you. Geaux Tigers. Thatisall.

Giving Credit to Obama

Leftards like to accuse us conservatives of being narrow minded and bigoted and all the rest. I guess I can understand why. I mean, the way I lampooned Obama’s media coverage and ridiculed Obama’s associations it probably seems I just don’t like the guy. But that’s not so. Well, I don’t like the guy, but that doesn’t mean I disagree with everything he says.

Barack Obama and I agree on one thing: There must be a playoff system in College Football. There is no sane reason not to. I’m sick of hearing about USC’s so-called “2003 national championship.” If Oklahoma wins this year (they won’t) Texas has a legitimate gripe since they had the same record, beat Oklahoma head-to-head and didn’t even get a shot at the conference title because of the Big 12’s tie breaker system. If Oklahoma manages to beat Florida, Oklahoma fans will be so sick of hearing about how Texas should have had a shot from ESPN they are going to hang themselves in large numbers. All this end of the year conjecture is stupid, let them settle it on the field.

I always hear the biggest reasons there is no playoff system are:

1. Players will miss too much class
2. We can’t get rid of bowl games
3. The Big Ten, Notre Dame, and USC will never win another national championship

Okay, so I added that last one, but it is true. Anyhoo, I think we can come up with a system that addresses those concerns. First, we make it an eight team playoff, which would add at most three games to the schedule. We cut the regular season by two games, and anybody that wants to be considered eligible must play the same number of games, ten regular season and a conference championship game. We add two existing bowl games (like the Cotton Bowl and Capital One Bowl) to the BCS series, and make the BCS series your playoffs. All the other bowl games will remain just as they always were.

We must reorganize the BCS conferences. We kick out the PAC 10 and the Big East to start. Then, every two years the conference with the fewest number of BCS teams gets kicked out, and the conference with the most at large bids gets in.

The first four teams will come from the BCS conference champions, and the next four will be the highest rated teams in the BCS that aren’t already in by winning their conference.

This won’t extend the season by much. It won’t spell the doom of the bowl games. It would give any team willing to organize their conference similarly to the BCS conferences a chance to win it all. If we had implemented this plan this year the BCS would look like this:

• Florida(SEC CC)
• Okalahoma (Big 12 CC)
• Penn State (Big 10 CC)
• Virginia Tech(ACC CC)
• Texas(#3)
• Alabama(#4)
• USC(#5)
• Utah(#6)

Those eight teams would have a shot at a legitimate National Championship. Even Utah. Then again, I’m just a poor dumb civil servant, what the hell do I know.